Neighbor's cat having a good life, July 09
I know, the photograph is a bit out-of-focus, but so am I, lately, to be honest. I've been scratching my head wondering what I'd say in my mext blog post. Should I post a random San Francisco shot with a two-line caption and go back to bed?
I've been ill for close to 20 days
now, and it ONLY NOW
feels like I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, knock on wood!
It started out with flu symptoms, you know, typical irritating cough, aching bones, low grade fever, overall tiredness, sore throat. Nothing out of the ordinary, I thought. Just get some rest, a bit of cough syrup and off it would go. But the symptoms *rapidly* progressed to something I've never experienced before in my life.
I just can't describe.
Have you ever seen the Sci-Fi horror movie Aliens
with Sigourney Weaver? Well, it's as if something kind of like that had taken residence deep, deep in my lungs and was busy sucking all the energy out of me, and while it was getting stronger within me every day, I grew weaker.
I've had pneumonia once, and this was similar... but worse! I had chest pain. I couldn't catch my breath. Simple tasks like getting dressed, doing a load of laundry, took an inordinate amount of time. Forget walking anywhere, or bringing a bag of groceries up the stairs, or anything like that.
At night, I coughed so violently and so frequently that, after a couple of days, my ribs hurt all the time ... forget sleeping, because every time I tried to fall asleep (upright on the couch, propped-up with pillows), that *thing* would wake me with the most violent cough ever.
To tell you the truth, after a couple of nights without sleep, I was convinced that I was going to die from it
, whatever it was. It got that bad
. Anxiety always gets stronger at night, and if you can't sleep at all, then it gets the upper hand.
It took another visit the doctor, another round of (stronger) antibiotics, 2 different kinds of inhalers, more stuff with codeine in it that tastes so foul it makes me want to gag, and various over-the-counter stuff, to get me through the last few days. But I can breathe better, now. I can sleep several hours at a time before the cough wakes me, instead of just minutes, so it's a clear improvement. And I can start moving around, making my bed, without going completely out of breath.
I don't think I'm completely out of the woods yet, but I know I'll survive this.
I'll have to, because somebody is gonna have to pay these medical bills now! I do have some vague memory of signing a bunch of forms (one in particular I think I'm going to deeply regret later, if you know what I mean, but oh, well). Get well first, deal with the "forms" later, I guess.
So anyway, that's what I've been up to lately. Hard to talk about anything else at the moment because it was really, really overwhelming.
One of you asked me -as a joke - how it felt to be a statistic. I don't know because they never tested us, but I would be willing to bet that my symptoms "closely ressemble" those of the people who had "The Flu"
that was on the news recently, you know the one. Look it up and let me know what you think. ;)
I didn't log in, didn't check blogs or follow much of anything for a few days. But my email continued to trickle in and I got your good wishes. I took these positive, healing thoughts with me to help me fight "that thing." It looks like it's working (well, that and the antibiotics ;)
Seriously, I very much appreciate your thoughts and support. Be well. Local bloggers and friends, BE CAREFUL.
Tomate Farcie on the mend, knock on wood.
Labels: flu, medicine for profit, neighbor's cat, thoughts of mortality